Patience and time

My new lesson these days is "patience". I used to like things to happen fast. Like when I had an idea, I wanted to do it immediately. If I had an answer, I wanted my eyes to print my thoughts out on the paper, without my hand being required to go through words and letters one by one. I was living in the future, fearing I might arrive there later than others. Fear of missing future? something like that. 

In my previous midterm exam, I had my committee meeting right after that. So during the exam my whole focus was "finishing this asap" and not really thinking deeply on each question. I finished earlier than everyone else, but I guess I scored lower than anyone else as well. 

Do you remember once I had told here that I'm always the first one finishing the exams? It wasn't because I was smarter than others, I just has less patience with difficulties in my life. I didn't like to stay in "exam" mood for long. And I did well most times, but I could do "a lot" better, if I had "a little" patience. 

Today I had my second midterm. Same course. I decided to be patient. And really think on questions, and even double checking each of them, as long as time allows. Guess what? It only took me 10 more minutes to finish it, than previous exam. I was one of the last people sitting there, but I was actually happy about it. It was showing me I have learned my new lesson: Patience.

The starting sparkle for this idea, and realizing the issue, was my problem with my own project. I had run multiple jobs, and each of them would take more than a day to run, and I had many mistakes there, so I had to run it again, and wait for the results a few more days. I wanted to be fast, but then this impatience had led to higher erroneous, hence longer time to do the job. I don't want to be like that. I want to be accurate. It doesn't mean I should be slow, but I should allow "the required" time for each task. Like if eating takes 15 minutes, with my impatience it takes 10 minutes. I don't need to spend 30 minutes on easting to practice patience, I just need to allow that 15 minutes. And things will be better. At least things have been better recently, since I am taking my time :) 

+ I am waiting for the shaker to be done. I guess I have to stay until around 8 to finish this experiment. But I don't want to have to do this another day, so I should wait and meanwhile I can read papers and do other stuff :) 

P.S: It's 8:10 and my experiment is finished, with shining results. I mean real shining, just look at it ^-^

All exists is present

I've recently realized that, there is no such a thing as "future". All that exists is "now". Whatever you want or need to do, you should do it right now.

I wrote on my phone screen that "Each moment is a decision". Cause all we have is now, and all we need to do is deciding what we want to do with "now".

Then you might ask what is future? Is a long-term goal meaningless? Well, no. Because decisions are not points, decisions are vectors. You decide "now", and it will move you to another "now". However, if you do another thing (say make another decision) that would be abother vector, going to another "now". But the point is that you can never predict the "next nows". However, our minds and the history, and all things that are called "experience" are in fact a predictor model for our decision vectors. It's not determenistic, but it has a kinda good accuracy. So you decide that "you want to get an A+ in exam", so you "decide to study for it". It is highly more probable that you get A+ out of "studying" vector, rather than "playing a game" vector. 

The point is that future doesn't exist. All we have is now. 

 (I'm talking about countries and situations in which people have freedom of choice. It's not unfortunatelyalways the case. In other words, sometimes you live in a limited vector space, so you can't decide to go to some other "now" with any kind of vector. In general, "living system" is also a limited space. So you can't decide to  "not sleep for a week" and staying alarm in this space.)

Reminder: You are reading this "now". This is "your decision". Make good choices. Like smiling after this line :) 

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